For months, every morning when my daughter was in preschool, I watched her construct an elaborate castle out of blocks, colorful plastic discs, bits of rope, ribbons and feathers, only to have the same little boy gleefully destroy it within seconds of its completion.

No matter how many times he did it, his parents never swooped in BEFORE the morning’s live 3-D reenactment of “Invasion of AstroMonster.” This is what they’d say repeatedly:

“You know! Boys will be boys!” 

“He’s just going through a phase!”

“He’s such a boy! He LOVES destroying things!”

“Oh my god! Girls and boys are SO different!”

“He. Just. Can’t. Help himself!”

I tried to teach my daughter how to stop this from happening. She asked him politely not to do it. We talked about some things she might do. She moved where she built. She stood in his way. She built a stronger foundation to the castle, so that, if he did get to it, she wouldn’t have to rebuild the whole thing. In the meantime, I imagine his parents thinking, “What red-blooded boy wouldn’t knock it down?”

She built a beautiful, glittery castle in a public space.

It was so tempting.

He just couldn’t control himself and, being a boy, had violent inclinations.

She had to keep her building safe.

Her consent didn’t matter. Besides, it’s not like she made a big fuss when he knocked it down. It wasn’t a “legitimate” knocking over if she didn’t throw a tantrum.

His desire — for power, destruction, control, whatever- - was understandable.

Maybe she “shouldn’t have gone to preschool” at all. OR, better if she just kept her building activities to home.

I know it’s a lurid metaphor, but I taught my daughter the preschool block precursor of don’t “get raped” and this child, Boy #1, did not learn the preschool equivalent of “don’t rape.

Not once did his parents talk to him about invading another person’s space and claiming for his own purposes something that was not his to claim. Respect for her and her work and words was not something he was learning.  How much of the boy’s behavior in coming years would be excused in these ways, be calibrated to meet these expectations and enforce the “rules” his parents kept repeating?

There was another boy who, similarly, decided to knock down her castle one day. When he did it his mother took him in hand, explained to him that it was not his to destroy, asked him how he thought my daughter felt after working so hard on her building and walked over with him so he could apologize. That probably wasn’t much fun for him, but he did not do it again.

There was a third child. He was really smart. He asked if he could knock her building down. She, beneficent ruler of all pre-circle-time castle construction, said yes… but only after she was done building it and said it was OK. They worked out a plan together and eventually he started building things with her and they would both knock the thing down with unadulterated joy. You can’t make this stuff up.

Take each of these three boys and consider what he might do when he’s older, say, at college, drunk at a party, mad at an ex-girlfriend who rebuffs him and uses words that she expects will be meaningful and respecte, “No, I don’t want to. Stop. Leave.”

The “overarching attitudinal characteristic” of abusive men is entitlement.

(Source: redofthehood, via kateelliottsff)

thevulcanhasthephonebox:

catholickmyballs:

lightning—struck:

apriki:

MARAUDERS, NO QUESTIONS ASKED. But since you did ask, let’s jump on that….
MARAUDERS: THE SERIES
 Okay so - five seasons, BBC produced OR HBO in Game of Thrones style, keeping it British (JKR would insist, as she should). 12-14 episodes a season, potential Christmas special at the end of season 4. The first three seasons are MWPP’s fifth, sixth and seventh years, starting about midway through their 5th. 
The pilot uses Harry as a framing device - it’s needed to establish the world and time period etc etc - maybe in third year, when Snape is digging in to Papa Potter? Harry then walks along the Hogwarts corridors, thinking about his father, and everything Dumbledore and Lupin have said about him, until he finds himself in the trophy room looking at one of James’ Quidditch medals. Harry says “my dad didn’t strut”, and we close in on the medal…
….only to pan out on James, strutting along the same corridor. Remus, Sirius and Peter fall in, and we watch them as they head in to class. James is your typical asshole of a 15yo, eating an apple and accidentally bumping into people, only to grin and give them fingerguns instead of apologising as he keeps on walking. Remus has his nose in a book, Sirius is poking at his ear with a quill, and Peter’s trying get Sugar Quill residue off his fingers. They walk into Transfiguration, their usual boisterous selves, not noticing a red headed girl rolling her eyes and turning away from them to talk to her friends, or a skulking boy in a group of Slytherins behind her, glaring at them.
AND SO WE BEGIN.
Each of the first four seasons would use one of the Marauders as a viewpoint into the main plot:
Season 1 - Peter, as he feels like he belongs less than the others, and his practical hero-worshipping of his friends means that he views them outside of his relationship with them, and is thus a good starting point for the viewer. Season one also introduces us to the Marauders era Slytherins, and we follow their story in a parallel to MWPP. Lily and Snape’s friendship, their subsequent fall out, and Snape’s further immersion into the Dark Arts are the season’s main subplot. Snape’s Worst Memory happens in about episode 9.
Season 2 - Remus. Season 2 covers MWPP’s sixth year, as they grow older and the war outside of Hogwarts begins to impact more on their isolated world. Lily and James begin to become friends - well, she dislikes him less - and this impacts on Snape, who begins to write in the margins of his potions textbook. Sirius starts to feel more pressure from his family and moves out; this makes him wilder than ever, culminating in the Snape prank (about episode 11). This is filmed to be a cruel trick, and we see the full blow out afterwards between Sirius and Remus. Snape approaches Lily in the aftermath and attempts to tell her about Remus, villifying James in the process; she tells him that she knows about Remus, and that Snape cannot reveal the secret. The season ends with Remus and Sirius still at odds, although partially reconciled, and James saying he just assumed that Sirius would be moving in with him.
Season 3 - This year focuses more on James, beginning when he and Sirius decide to crash a pureblood party at the Malfoy’s. They make their getaway, running past three girls, on Sirius’ new bike, which still has some…. kinks to be smoothed out - they almost fall out of the sky more than once. They return home to the news that James has been made Head Boy; Sirius thinks it’s the most hilarious news he’s ever heard, but James is determined to use the opportunity to get closer to Lily (“I am TELLING you she’s Head Girl, Padfoot!”) The gang head back to Hogwarts - crossing paths with Narcissa Black - who had seen them run out at the Malfoy’s - on the train station. She becomes our focus Slytherin character for the season. Lily and James’ romance takes a front position in this season, with the mending of the Sirius/Remus relationship as a subplot. The season also has flashbacks to the group’s younger years, focusing on the Animagus process.
Season 4: TIME JUMP. We go forward two years into the middle of the war. I see the final two seasons as one whole arc, with the season 4 establishing the various dangers of the war and MWPP’s role in it - focusing on Sirius, as suspicion starts to take hold of the group and their lives get more and more perilous. Through Sirius we get the Regulus subplot and our view into the Death Eaters, following Snape, the Blacks and the Malfoys. Two of Lily and James’ “thrice defied” events happen throughout the season. Remus is sent undercover into the werewolf community and drifts apart from the Order, causing the others to confide in him less and less. Peter sees this and, in the season finale, meets up with a Death Eater.
Season 5: We begin with the announcement of Lily’s pregnancy. The fighting gets worse - there are battles and disappearances every day, both sides begin to lose friends and mentors. Narcissa’s pregnancy is played out as a parallel to Lily; she and Lucius grow closer and begin to resent the influence of Voldemort on their lives. They strengthen as a family unit and at the end of the season decide to break away from their Death Eater friends (and family). The prophecy is told, Harry is born, Lily and James go into hiding. Sirius continues to fight in the war, becoming friends with the Prewett brothers and eventually witnessing their deaths, Snape becomes worried for Lily, makes the deal with Dumbledore, and begins sabotaging Death Eater missions he thinks may harm her, Karkaroff flees England, the Longbottoms announce that they’re expecting, Peter begins passing information on to Voldemort himself, Remus is thrown out of a werewolf meetup when they discover he’s a spy. 
The season finale is two hours long. It begins with Harry’s first birthday - Bathilda Bagshot is present, and speaks of Grindlewald. The scene changes, and Sirius is sitting with Kingsley and a few other Order members - they’ve just heard the news of the McKinnons. Moody comes in with blood everywhere; he’s lost an eye. Sirius can’t stand to look at the blood and begins to walk out - then catches sight of Remus in the hall. He confronts Remus, asking where he’s been - Remus can’t say, under Dumbledore’s orders. They end up in a fist fight, beating each other senseless until they’re separated. They don’t speak again for fourteen years. It’s a cold day, and windy - Lily goes outide and pulls the clothes off the line before they can blow away. She and James decorate their cottage with jack o’ lanterns and streamers, and dress Harry up as a little Merlin in a purple gown. They eat Halloween dinner together, the three of them, and James jokes about how “it’s nothing on a Hogwarts feast - just you wait and see, Harry!” Lily goes to put Harry to bed - we watch as she changed him into his pyjamas, lays him in the crib and sings to him - until she’s cut off mid song by a blast downstairs. She’s at the door when she hears James scream, and then there’s a green flash of light, bright and cold, and she runs back to the crib, too choked with fear to even cry for her dead husband. A hooded man steps in the doorway, blocking out all the light. The screen is still black when we hear the revving of a motorcycle as it touches down on the ground. Sirius stands in front of the ruined house, and there are no words for the look on his face. He makes a sound - more animal than human - and before even knowing why, he starts forward, searching among the rubble. He hears a sound, and digs underneath the debris, forgetting his wand entirely, until he finds Harry, crying, the scar still bleeding. Sirius doesn’t know how long he stands there, holding the baby, until suddenly Hagrid is behind him, saying something about Dumbledore, and argues for a while but hands Harry over anyway, saying Hagrid can take the bike. It’s only then that Sirius thinks of Peter. Hagrid says something else, but Sirius doesn’t hear him, doesn’t hear anything - he Apparates, and he’s not even landed before he’s running, up and into Peter’s apartment, banging through the door and making things explode like he did when he was young and couldn’t control his magic. We follow Sirius through the confrontation with Peter and his arrest. Sirius is dragged away, laughing and crying manicallay, cut in a montage to parties and celebrations, random wizards and the Order, a thousand people cheering and smiling and all whispering “For him! The Boy who Lived! Harry Potter!” And, finally, a baby and a letter, lying side by side in front of a Surrey door.




This. This is brilliant.

thevulcanhasthephonebox:

catholickmyballs:

lightning—struck:

apriki:

MARAUDERS, NO QUESTIONS ASKED. But since you did ask, let’s jump on that….

MARAUDERS: THE SERIES

Okay so - five seasons, BBC produced OR HBO in Game of Thrones style, keeping it British (JKR would insist, as she should). 12-14 episodes a season, potential Christmas special at the end of season 4. The first three seasons are MWPP’s fifth, sixth and seventh years, starting about midway through their 5th. 

The pilot uses Harry as a framing device - it’s needed to establish the world and time period etc etc - maybe in third year, when Snape is digging in to Papa Potter? Harry then walks along the Hogwarts corridors, thinking about his father, and everything Dumbledore and Lupin have said about him, until he finds himself in the trophy room looking at one of James’ Quidditch medals. Harry says “my dad didn’t strut”, and we close in on the medal…

….only to pan out on James, strutting along the same corridor. Remus, Sirius and Peter fall in, and we watch them as they head in to class. James is your typical asshole of a 15yo, eating an apple and accidentally bumping into people, only to grin and give them fingerguns instead of apologising as he keeps on walking. Remus has his nose in a book, Sirius is poking at his ear with a quill, and Peter’s trying get Sugar Quill residue off his fingers. They walk into Transfiguration, their usual boisterous selves, not noticing a red headed girl rolling her eyes and turning away from them to talk to her friends, or a skulking boy in a group of Slytherins behind her, glaring at them.

AND SO WE BEGIN.

Each of the first four seasons would use one of the Marauders as a viewpoint into the main plot:

  • Season 1 - Peter, as he feels like he belongs less than the others, and his practical hero-worshipping of his friends means that he views them outside of his relationship with them, and is thus a good starting point for the viewer. Season one also introduces us to the Marauders era Slytherins, and we follow their story in a parallel to MWPP. Lily and Snape’s friendship, their subsequent fall out, and Snape’s further immersion into the Dark Arts are the season’s main subplot. Snape’s Worst Memory happens in about episode 9.
  • Season 2 - Remus. Season 2 covers MWPP’s sixth year, as they grow older and the war outside of Hogwarts begins to impact more on their isolated world. Lily and James begin to become friends - well, she dislikes him less - and this impacts on Snape, who begins to write in the margins of his potions textbook. Sirius starts to feel more pressure from his family and moves out; this makes him wilder than ever, culminating in the Snape prank (about episode 11). This is filmed to be a cruel trick, and we see the full blow out afterwards between Sirius and Remus. Snape approaches Lily in the aftermath and attempts to tell her about Remus, villifying James in the process; she tells him that she knows about Remus, and that Snape cannot reveal the secret. The season ends with Remus and Sirius still at odds, although partially reconciled, and James saying he just assumed that Sirius would be moving in with him.
  • Season 3 - This year focuses more on James, beginning when he and Sirius decide to crash a pureblood party at the Malfoy’s. They make their getaway, running past three girls, on Sirius’ new bike, which still has some…. kinks to be smoothed out - they almost fall out of the sky more than once. They return home to the news that James has been made Head Boy; Sirius thinks it’s the most hilarious news he’s ever heard, but James is determined to use the opportunity to get closer to Lily (“I am TELLING you she’s Head Girl, Padfoot!”) The gang head back to Hogwarts - crossing paths with Narcissa Black - who had seen them run out at the Malfoy’s - on the train station. She becomes our focus Slytherin character for the season. Lily and James’ romance takes a front position in this season, with the mending of the Sirius/Remus relationship as a subplot. The season also has flashbacks to the group’s younger years, focusing on the Animagus process.
  • Season 4: TIME JUMP. We go forward two years into the middle of the war. I see the final two seasons as one whole arc, with the season 4 establishing the various dangers of the war and MWPP’s role in it - focusing on Sirius, as suspicion starts to take hold of the group and their lives get more and more perilous. Through Sirius we get the Regulus subplot and our view into the Death Eaters, following Snape, the Blacks and the Malfoys. Two of Lily and James’ “thrice defied” events happen throughout the season. Remus is sent undercover into the werewolf community and drifts apart from the Order, causing the others to confide in him less and less. Peter sees this and, in the season finale, meets up with a Death Eater.
  • Season 5: We begin with the announcement of Lily’s pregnancy. The fighting gets worse - there are battles and disappearances every day, both sides begin to lose friends and mentors. Narcissa’s pregnancy is played out as a parallel to Lily; she and Lucius grow closer and begin to resent the influence of Voldemort on their lives. They strengthen as a family unit and at the end of the season decide to break away from their Death Eater friends (and family). The prophecy is told, Harry is born, Lily and James go into hiding. Sirius continues to fight in the war, becoming friends with the Prewett brothers and eventually witnessing their deaths, Snape becomes worried for Lily, makes the deal with Dumbledore, and begins sabotaging Death Eater missions he thinks may harm her, Karkaroff flees England, the Longbottoms announce that they’re expecting, Peter begins passing information on to Voldemort himself, Remus is thrown out of a werewolf meetup when they discover he’s a spy. 
  • The season finale is two hours long. It begins with Harry’s first birthday - Bathilda Bagshot is present, and speaks of Grindlewald. The scene changes, and Sirius is sitting with Kingsley and a few other Order members - they’ve just heard the news of the McKinnons. Moody comes in with blood everywhere; he’s lost an eye. Sirius can’t stand to look at the blood and begins to walk out - then catches sight of Remus in the hall. He confronts Remus, asking where he’s been - Remus can’t say, under Dumbledore’s orders. They end up in a fist fight, beating each other senseless until they’re separated. They don’t speak again for fourteen years. It’s a cold day, and windy - Lily goes outide and pulls the clothes off the line before they can blow away. She and James decorate their cottage with jack o’ lanterns and streamers, and dress Harry up as a little Merlin in a purple gown. They eat Halloween dinner together, the three of them, and James jokes about how “it’s nothing on a Hogwarts feast - just you wait and see, Harry!” Lily goes to put Harry to bed - we watch as she changed him into his pyjamas, lays him in the crib and sings to him - until she’s cut off mid song by a blast downstairs. She’s at the door when she hears James scream, and then there’s a green flash of light, bright and cold, and she runs back to the crib, too choked with fear to even cry for her dead husband. A hooded man steps in the doorway, blocking out all the light. The screen is still black when we hear the revving of a motorcycle as it touches down on the ground. Sirius stands in front of the ruined house, and there are no words for the look on his face. He makes a sound - more animal than human - and before even knowing why, he starts forward, searching among the rubble. He hears a sound, and digs underneath the debris, forgetting his wand entirely, until he finds Harry, crying, the scar still bleeding. Sirius doesn’t know how long he stands there, holding the baby, until suddenly Hagrid is behind him, saying something about Dumbledore, and argues for a while but hands Harry over anyway, saying Hagrid can take the bike. It’s only then that Sirius thinks of Peter. Hagrid says something else, but Sirius doesn’t hear him, doesn’t hear anything - he Apparates, and he’s not even landed before he’s running, up and into Peter’s apartment, banging through the door and making things explode like he did when he was young and couldn’t control his magic. We follow Sirius through the confrontation with Peter and his arrest. Sirius is dragged away, laughing and crying manicallay, cut in a montage to parties and celebrations, random wizards and the Order, a thousand people cheering and smiling and all whispering “For him! The Boy who Lived! Harry Potter!” And, finally, a baby and a letter, lying side by side in front of a Surrey door.

This. This is brilliant.

(via sarberry)

publicshaming:

Hugo Chavez is the recently deceased former socialist President of Venezuela.

Cesar Chavez was a labor and civil rights activist. His birthday is celebrated every year on March 31st.

Easter Sunday, the day Christians celebrate the resurrection of Jesus, falls on March 31st this year.

Why am I…

Instagram Doppelgangers.  The first at an office in Atlanta, the other in the English countryside….posted right next to each other in my feed

Instagram Doppelgangers.  The first at an office in Atlanta, the other in the English countryside….posted right next to each other in my feed

lesmiserabluths:

Buster (as Franklin): I don’t want no part of your tight-ass country-club, ya freak bitch!

lesmiserabluths:

Buster (as Franklin): I don’t want no part of your tight-ass country-club, ya freak bitch!

lesmiserabluths:

Tobias: Oh, stop booing. There’s nothing wrong with it. There are dozens of us. Dozens!

Dozens!!

lesmiserabluths:

Tobias: Oh, stop booing. There’s nothing wrong with it. There are dozens of us. Dozens!

Dozens!!

bluelightseven:

stuckinabucket:

bluelightseven:

vpbiden:

In which Supreme Court Justice Elena Kagan explains menopause to an anti-gay marriage lawyer

Kagannnnnnnn!

Even with respect to couples over the age of 55, it is very rare that both parties to the couple are infertile.
Even with respect to couples over the age of 55, it is very rare that both parties to the couple are infertile.
Even with respect to couples over the age of 55, it is very rare that both parties to the couple are infertile.
I’m torn between wondering what fucking planet this dude spends most of his time on where women over 50 are routinely getting pregnant without medical intervention and wondering where he’s going with the argument that it’s somehow totally different, maritally speaking, if only one partner is infertile.
I mean, here’s the thing.  People having homosex aren’t (necessarily) infertile.  They’re having non-procreative sex.  Either or both of them could, hypothetically speaking, go get their hetero bone on and make a baby with someone else.  Buuuuuuuut this really doesn’t fall within the parameters of ye olde marriage being for procreation only argument, because the conception in that case would fall outside the marriage. 
A couple having heterosex while one or both partners is infertile is in the same goddamn boat.  You can hand-wave about how it’s not common for both partners to be infertile (because dudes can TOTALLY FATHER BABIES FOREVER IRRESPECTIVE OF AGE LALALALA I CAN’T HEAR YOU, I guess) until you’re blue in the face, but it doesn’t change that.  If you, a fertile person, get opposite-married to an infertile person, and take zero steps to surmount that infertility (sperm donation, surrogacy, whatever), it doesn’t matter that you’re fertile.  You, as a couple, are not going to be procreating.  You are having non-procreative sex.  Just like the same-sex couple.
And, just like the same-sex couple, you can still theoretically go get your extramarital bone on with somebody else, and theoretically produce a baby that way, but—and I apologize if this is news to you, but it shouldn’t be, because most states’ marriage licensing procedures do cover it—shouting “Straight marriage powers activate!” does not result in the baby under discussion becoming the issue of your legal union (Texaco, Inc. v. Pennzoil Co., 729 S.W.2d 768 (Tex. App. 1987)).

Reblogging for smart commentary!  I love that this Cooper idiot was the best they could come up with.

bluelightseven:

stuckinabucket:

bluelightseven:

vpbiden:

In which Supreme Court Justice Elena Kagan explains menopause to an anti-gay marriage lawyer

Kagannnnnnnn!

Even with respect to couples over the age of 55, it is very rare that both parties to the couple are infertile.

Even with respect to couples over the age of 55, it is very rare that both parties to the couple are infertile.

Even with respect to couples over the age of 55, it is very rare that both parties to the couple are infertile.

I’m torn between wondering what fucking planet this dude spends most of his time on where women over 50 are routinely getting pregnant without medical intervention and wondering where he’s going with the argument that it’s somehow totally different, maritally speaking, if only one partner is infertile.

I mean, here’s the thing.  People having homosex aren’t (necessarily) infertile.  They’re having non-procreative sex.  Either or both of them could, hypothetically speaking, go get their hetero bone on and make a baby with someone else.  Buuuuuuuut this really doesn’t fall within the parameters of ye olde marriage being for procreation only argument, because the conception in that case would fall outside the marriage. 

A couple having heterosex while one or both partners is infertile is in the same goddamn boat.  You can hand-wave about how it’s not common for both partners to be infertile (because dudes can TOTALLY FATHER BABIES FOREVER IRRESPECTIVE OF AGE LALALALA I CAN’T HEAR YOU, I guess) until you’re blue in the face, but it doesn’t change that.  If you, a fertile person, get opposite-married to an infertile person, and take zero steps to surmount that infertility (sperm donation, surrogacy, whatever), it doesn’t matter that you’re fertile.  You, as a couple, are not going to be procreating.  You are having non-procreative sex.  Just like the same-sex couple.

And, just like the same-sex couple, you can still theoretically go get your extramarital bone on with somebody else, and theoretically produce a baby that way, but—and I apologize if this is news to you, but it shouldn’t be, because most states’ marriage licensing procedures do cover it—shouting “Straight marriage powers activate!” does not result in the baby under discussion becoming the issue of your legal union (Texaco, Inc. v. Pennzoil Co., 729 S.W.2d 768 (Tex. App. 1987)).

Reblogging for smart commentary!  I love that this Cooper idiot was the best they could come up with.

(via acciomjolnir)


MAY WE HAVE A MINUTE OF YOUR TIME TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT GOD?!


MAY WE HAVE A MINUTE OF YOUR TIME TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT GOD?!

(Source: metapod, via icecreampoprocks)


North and South (2004)


Mmmmmm

North and South (2004)

Mmmmmm

(via icecreampoprocks)

daintyblackpegasus:

blackgirlsrpretty2:

I don’t know what most white people in this country feel but I can only include what they feel from the state of their institutions. James Baldwin on The Dick Cavett Show [X]

^^^^!!!!!!!!

I will reblog this every single time it crosses my dash without fail because this is at the heart of basically any discussion about racism that I will ever have.

Yes, this.

(via icecreampoprocks)